Couple finally decides to confront upstairs neighbor after months of nonstop noises, draws the line when food waste lands on their balcony: ‘We're not going to tolerate it’

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Frustrated couple sitting in bed after dealing with ongoing disruptive noise from upstairs neighbor.
For context, I'm a foreigner married to a local man in an Asian country. I've lived here for a long time and speak the language reasonably well, but I would really rather not communicate directly with the people involved since they won't take me seriously.
My husband and I moved into our apartment about 6 months ago and put down a huge down payment (moving is not an option). We also have a 4-month- old baby. I'm currently a SAHM while my hubs works cca 12h/day.
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His job is incredibly hard and he rly values having some peace and quiet at night (who doesn't).
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Since we moved in, we've noticed an extremely loud, repetitive bumping/thudding noise coming from upstairs. It happens at all hours, day and night. Sometimes it's slow, sometimes incredibly
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fast. We've ruled out pipes, washing machines, dryers, etc. It's 100% footsteps, sounds like walking or running. It's so loud that I can literally follow the noise
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from room to room, and sometimes our light fixtures actually dangle from the vibrations.
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A couple of months ago, we contacted the apartment management office. The woman there told us that the upstairs resident is a 90-year-old woman who uses a walker, so we decided to have some compassion and let
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it go. But honestly, the explanation never made sense given the noise. We kept hearing what sounded like running at 4, 5, 6, 7 AM. And it's not just weekends when grandchildren might supposedly be visiting.
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Fast-forward to two days ago.
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Upset couple lying back-to-back in bed.
My husband finally gets a chance to sleep in a little. The baby is asleep. It's 6 AM. DUM. DUM. DUM. DUM.
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The ceiling is literally shaking. This goes on for about an hour. We call the management office. They try to contact the upstairs woman, but she doesn't answer.
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Eventually, management tells my husband to go upstairs himself. He doesn't, because by this point he has to leave for work.
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Then the next morning, I find food waste thrown onto our balcony from upstairs. Eggshells. Onion skins. Potato skins. And used Band-Aids.
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I noticed it around noon. It had rained last night, which is how I know this wasn't sitting there for days, the rain would have washed it away. I'm about 99% certain it came from the apartment directly above us. The way our building is
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configured makes it basically impossible for someone several floors above to throw something onto our balcony.
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We called management again. Some old guy basically laughed it off and told us to call again the next day, deal with the woman ourselves, or clean it ourselves.
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ABSOLUTELY NOT. I'm not touching someone else's food waste and medical waste.
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Also, in this country, directly confronting neighbors is strongly discouraged. There have been serious incidents over neighbor disputes, including murders. So "just go upstairs and deal with
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An apartment balcony with outdoor seating.
her" isn't something I'm comfortable doing. The management guy is an older who seems to have absolutely no idea how seriously this situation can escalate.
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The problem is, my husband is VERY confrontational, and I know he's going to take this much further than necessary with the management office guy if they keep dismissing us. We're going
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to insist that management arrange for the balcony to be cleaned. But that doesn't really address the person who threw this stuff down there.
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I'm ped. I don't want to retaliate by doing something stupid or illegal, but I do want the message to be very clear: don't mess with us and assume we're just going to tolerate it. I'm very much a FAFO person. Any advice on how to "retaliate"?
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tooth_fairy39 Document everything. Let the evidence do the talking. The best revenge is a paper trail.
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Savings-Bison-512 Are there pets upstairs? The woman herself might not be making noise, but even cats can be super loud if there is not a lot of insulation between floors.
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Callygia Maybe leave the trash by their door?
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